You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize