Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
