respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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