Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
