That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
