every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
