Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
