Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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