Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if only i could text you this smell
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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