We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
