i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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