Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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