i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
