we're blogging at a bar
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
