Where is the hickey?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I wear drunk well.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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