Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
