I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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