we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
