Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my sisters under your porch take her home
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
