I'm sorry my penis didn't work
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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