I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
