I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
