I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
my poor anus
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
