I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
