she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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