Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
