my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
