the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize