their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize