I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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