he looks like a really good dad on facebook
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
