if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
