R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
