its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
