TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
