apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
