hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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