I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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