Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
