I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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