dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Drake has all the answers
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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