Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
