I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
