everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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