I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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