You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
