why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
