I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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