Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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