At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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