remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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