we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
