For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
