i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
