I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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