Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
