you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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