I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
