Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
