Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
