i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think my moral compass just broke
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
