i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
