I heard we made out
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
