I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
