You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
