every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
