Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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