All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my liver is dry heaving
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
