i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
