new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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