I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize