my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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