well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
