So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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