You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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