HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize