Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Randomize
