I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
