I want to make a zoo with you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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