Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
